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He’s drunk. It’s not the first time.

Karamatsu himself has had one too many to be relatively stable on his feet, as they stumble back through the busy streets. Should it have been this busy for a Saturday? Karamatsu wasn’t sure. He didn’t like going out like this, with Osomatsu under one arm, singing at anyone who even dared to look. If only his other brothers hadn’t scampered off when they did. It wouldn’t be like this.

Osomatsu’s hand tightens around his waist, and Karamatsu hadn’t realised how far they’d wandered from home.

Bright flashing lights all around them. XXX signs, gaudy love hearts, hot pink. Sweat builds on Karamatsu’s forehead, and its not from the copious amount of alcohol he had consumed over dinner.

“Let’s go,” Osomatsu slurs, and it’s like he regains all his strength. His hand slides to Karamatsu’s, and he’s tugging him along.

At least he has some sense to choose the least conspicuous hotel, even if Karamatsu shies away from the people lingering at the door. He’s not nearly drunk enough to not wonder what people think, seeing the same faces walking by, hand in hand, pink in the face. 

He’s not nearly drunk enough to see a vague flicker of disgust across the face of the woman behind the desk, despite what she might’ve seen in her life working there. 

Karamatsu isn’t dumb. Osomatsu wasn’t either. With some effort, there’s a key in the door, slamming behind them. Standing in the doorway, awkwardly kicking off shoes and trying not to trip on the step, they manage to make it into the room. A simple bed, because for all their worth, it was all they could afford.

His grip on Osomatsu finally falters, and Osomatsu pulls him down with him. Close, his face is too close. Karamatsu can smell the liquor on his brother’s breath, the watery eyes, pink cheeks. He knows he looks the same. 

“Kiss me, Karamatsu.” 

A simple command. The smaller part of Karamatsu, one that had always wanted Osomatsu to make him his number two, reared it’s ugly head. Karamatsu was the first, as he always should have been. And here was that chance to make it obvious, to finally be at his place.

“I can’t,” he finds himself saying instead, despite the arms slung lazily around his neck, the way he seems to fit perfectly between Osomatsu’s thighs. “Aniki… I’m sorry.”

“Karamatsu.”

Osomatsu is not good with words. He’s loud and bossy and fights when all else fails. Has always been since he was a kid. Osomatsu never changed, really, growing up. Always the same.

Gritting his teeth, Karamatsu wanted to hate that. Wanted to pull every emotion into hating how Osomatsu was still the same older brother he had tried so desperately to be, to follow, to catch up to. 

Karamatsu kisses him, with everything he had in him, because he could never hate his older brother, and loved him from the bottom of his heart.

Tasting the beer and oden and some mints they’d picked up from the front counter, Karamatsu knocks teeth and noses and his tongue isn’t quite as teasing as he wanted to be. But Osomatsu isn’t quite there either. Just as awkward. It made it that much more thrilling, learning his brother this way, learning it was just as much his first time as Karamatsu’s. And it was his turn to experience it.

“We should… go on the bed.” His face is hot, and pants uncomfortably tight. But, Osomatsu’s pupils are blown, and his lips are swollen, and his hair is getting a little too shaggy at the ends but Karamatsu runs his fingers through it anyway. He doesn’t really want to move.

Osomatsu complains about the floor and his back and with some effort, it’s Karamatsu staring at the ceiling, shirt bunched up under his arms, pants pulled to his knees. 

It’s obvious Osomatsu has never done this before. Karamatsu has no one to compare this too. “I’ve always wanted to do this to you, Karamatsu,” he hears Osomatsu say, around the tip of his cock before he sucks him all the way in. “Always.”

Rolling his eyes, Karamatsu wonders where he gets all those sorts of lines from. Pornography. Of course. Karamatsu wouldn’t be surprised if one of them was starred in this room.

“Sure,” he mumbles, but the intent is lost when he moans, arching off the bed as Osomatsu drags his tongue from base to tip. He wasn’t going to last much longer.

“Since high school. Maybe before. Watching you work out all the time. Sweaty. Wanted you so bad.” Osomatsu is muttering as he pumps Karamatsu lazily with one hand, stopping the quick burn in its tracks. “Those tights you wore in that play once. Fuck. Could’ve jumped you then.”

At first, Karamatsu just frowns, because he’s no longer at the edge, just a few steps back. But then, he remembers. Remembers Osomatsu always being there, at some point or another. Staring a little too hard, grin a little too forced.

“You were watching,” Karamatsu breathes, one hand reaching down to wrap around Osomatsu’s, encouraging him.

“Yeah, I was.”

That does Karamatsu in, and he spills over the both of their hands. When the white behind his lids finally disappears, he sees Osomatsu hovering over him, pumping himself. Talking and moaning and it’s Karamatsu Karamatsu Karamatsu. 

Whispering “aniki,” Karamatsu can’t hide the awe. Wrapping thin fingers around Osomatsu’s length, Karamatsu pumps with him, his own come providing some leverage. 

“Kiss me, Karamatsu.”

He doesn’t deny him this time.

Osomatsu spills on his belly, collapsing straight after, like all the alcohol finally caught up to him. Sticky and gross and blissed out. He’s mumbling into the nook between neck and shoulder, but Karamatsu doesn’t understand him. Doesn’t hear him.

Raising a hand, Karamatsu spies the come, both his and his older brothers. It sends a new shot of heat through him, that only dies when soft snores start to come from Osomatsu. Wiping his hand on the sheets, he manoeuvres them. Pulls up his pants. Wipes off his belly, and attempts to clean Osomatsu’s shirt.

Tucks them in, curls up beside Osomatsu. Karamatsu watches him sleep, hums softly as he remembers that he was the first, despite never being the last. Pushing hair out of Osomatsu’s face, and pressing his lips just there, above his eyebrow, and chuckling at the grimace, Karamatsu finds that he finally doesn’t mind. 

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